Anger

Somehow it’s all too easy to get angry and find yourself doing things that you are not proud of once you’ve simmered down. It’s not that you are an angry person, it’s just that it’s all too easy for things to escalate. Someone acts in a certain way and you’ve lost it before you know it.
You don’t need to feel bad about yourself any more, because everyone of us has knee-jerk emotional reactions to other peoples’ behaviour. Indeed, you should feel proud that you are reading this, because that means you have taken the first step towards deciding to do things differently in the future.

... hyper-alert to feeling rejected.

Human Nature

There are certain things that each and every one of us does:

Everyone of us has our unconscious emotional preferences, for example some people don’t feel sad when someone dies

Everyone of us has an unconscious habit of keeping score of the nasty things that people have done to us

Everyone of us has our unconscious knee-jerk reactions to what we see as others’ bad behaviour

Unless we deliberately go out of our way to become aware of it, we never become aware that we prefer one emotion over another. So the grown-ups that brought us up as best they could had their emotional preferences, and probably passed them on to us. So if they got angry in situations where most people would get sad, that means we probably would too.

Unconsciously we can collect up anger and resentment just like we can collect Air Miles or Nectar points.

Even though we don’t remember what it was like to be an infant, things that happened back then can affect us in the present. In particular, babies can get very scared if they feel they are not getting enough care and attention. As adults this can lead us to be hyper-alert to feeling rejected.

Unconscious

Because we are not aware of these things, we can find that we have reacted to a situation before we’ve had time to think about it. In the moment we react in one way, and then later we wish that we’d done it another way.

Too Simple?

The solution is simple, but it isn't always easy. It’s easy to decide that you are going to do things differently, but it isn’t easy to make the new behaviour stick. Swapping to the new strategy takes effort and practice.

Making the Change

So, here's the plan:

Become aware of your anger
Stop collecting anger air miles
Cash-in your existing anger air miles safely
Practice the new behaviour, thoughts and feelings
Get to the bottom of where the anger comes from

Interested?

Call 07815 596 628

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