Bullying at Work

Effects of Bullying

The worst things about being bullied are the inevitability, the humiliation and the frustration.

Many suicides are thought to be due to bullying in the workplace or at school.

Inevitability

When you are being bullied, you feel stuck in the situation. You live with the dread, day in, day out. You know that the bully will find you, sooner or later. When you sense their approach, your insides freeze up.

Humiliation

When the bully starts on you, there will usually be witnesses; bystanders are often friends. People see what the bully does to you; they are aware of the feelings you express.

Frustration

There's no escape, and you feel powerless.

Suicide

Many suicides are thought to be due to bullying in the workplace or at school.

Bullies

Bullies are people that project their bad feelings about themselves onto others in order to feel better. Unfortunately, they don't feel better, they feel worse, and so bullying can become a vicious circle of behaviour.

Why Do People Bully?

Bullies grew up in an environment where their feelings, beliefs and values were discounted. Bullying begets more bullies.

Bullying is a Choice

This does not excuse the bullies' behaviour; there is nothing forcing them to hurt people. Let's not lose sight of the fact that the bully chooses to make people suffer.

Surviving

As children, we all made decisions about how best to survive in the world. Is it possible that some of us (myself included) subconsciously decided to allow bullying either because being hurt was better than being ignored, or because we were being bullied at home, and so it didn't seem unnatural to be bullied elsewhere?

The bully looks for the easy target; someone that can't or won't defend themselves.

If I approve of myself, I will not allow the bully to get away with it. He will pick this up subconsciously, and will look elsewhere to satisfy his needs.