Do You Have Poor Self-Esteem?

Self-Esteem

We have to accept that we are the way we actually are rather than the way we think we 'should' be.

Here is an intriguing question, "How is it possible for me to have a low opinion of myself?" It is interesting because 'me' has an opinion of 'myself' - in other words there are separate parts of the mind and one has an opinion of the other.

If we look at the physical structure of the brain, it is split down the middle into left and right halves. There is a narrow connection between the two, called the corpus callosum, and the left and right halves talk to each other a bit like two people having a phone conversation. The two halves of the brain are physically similar and yet generally perform very different autonomous functions, and they talk to each other using the corpus callosum like people talk to each other using a telephone link.

Left and Right Brain

For right-handed people the left side of the brain does sequential thinking like logic, planning, and sentence construction and the right does holistic thinking like emotions, spatial perception, artistic ability, and reading faces.

Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is what happens when the left and right hand sides of the brain are not communicating effectively. We've all had phone conversations like that, where each of us has started off with a different mind-set and it's taken a while for us to work out where the other is coming from.

There are a variety of reasons for the failure to communicate, and once you are feeling better about yourself, we can investigate what those reasons might be for you, if you are interested. What often happens is that the logical side disapproves of the emotions. For example, I might feel ashamed of feeling a particular emotion - the emotion is mine, but I don't like the fact that I feel it.

Better Communications

Let's suppose that I do have a problem with an emotion of mine. Which is right: logic or emotion? Well, that's a logical question to ask ... logical question ... and there's the problem in a nutshell.

Once we start trying to impose logic on the emotional side of the brain, things are only going to get worse - we aren't used to 'thinking' emotionally. Our brains are the way they are; denying one side or the other is not going to work.

Should Be

We have to accept that we are the way we actually are rather than the way we think we 'should' be. Accepting that we are the way we are sounds simple, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Every time we got told that we shouldn't be feeling the way we actually were feeling, we got habituated to that process. Circuits got set up in our brain, and we used them again and again.

Acceptance

It easy to set up new pathways, but old pathways are like ruts in a farm track. It's possible to get out of the ruts, but way too easy to get pulled back into the old way of behaving.

But if you get out of the old ways and into the new, your life will have direction and purpose, and you will be well on the way to happiness and fulfilment.

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